The loan thing probably can't be discharged fully

But they should still talk to a lawyer dammit.

In any case, I am packed and ready to return. But not without my standard mom-comforting or mom-mediating. Sigh. I love her, and she has some points, but she can be difficult.

Aaaaaagggghhhhh

This evening I learned that my mom's old business, which crashed and burned after barely taking off, took out an SBA loan that my parents are still paying back from their personal accounts.

Now, perhaps this is a reality that they have to live with. But I don't know, and neither do they because *neither one has discussed it with a lawyer*. My dad even insinuated it would be an unnecessary expense.

Just. Aaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh. Agh.

Traveling with my dad is good but hard

He's an old man. He forgets things. But he hikes surprisingly well.

It's 11:20 in Texas

.

Okay, I guess it takes time and effort to build a habit

I thought about posting the other night. Told myself "Cant, make sure you don't forget." So ofc I forgot.

Then kept forgetting.

Currently in H-town visiting my folks. About to make a deposit with the car dealer to reach 99% completion of the arduous process to buy Sheila, including a scare that almost made me walk away. But all told, with luck, over the next 12 months I'll be on the hook for $4,000 for Sheila + $600ish for tires + $500ish for a coolant line repair.

My relief is considerable but not complete. Now I need to plan a two day mini vacation for my dad and me starting in two days. =D

A pre-purchase inspection has been arranged

The car has decals--the car is thoroughly decaled. She's 11 years old and has driven 195,000 miles. But her name is Sheila and she has service records going back years. She has been loved. I feel like I haven't searched hard enough but I also feel good about this car.

I will be upset if the inspection turns up any major problems, but tbh the sticker price is good enough where even a $2k repair would make this a pretty good deal (especially if that repair knocks out the final remaining unaddressed known defect for the model, which is a timing cover leak). But I am nervous.

I feel so guilty about my beloved Tails, who has unjustly been rendered unsafe because I didn't wash away the salt that severely corroded his underside. I will never forget the 13 years of noble service he provided.

I just took a glance at him in my driveway and teared up a bit. He was better to me than I was to him. If I do buy Sheila, she'll benefit from my heartbreak.

Man do I have strong feelings about inanimate objects.

AGAIN?

Again.

We're going to keep doing this till we get it right. I'm going car shopping today (well, looking with Ielly at one car I've already seen that I want to buy).

We're going to keep doing this till we get it right.

Oh what the fuck, I forgot

 :facepalm:

Okay. We'll start over. Day 1. Here we go.

Laid off

Last month I was laid off. I felt bad about it for ~48 hours. Then felt totally fine. Now feel kinda meh as I realize that drawing down my savings before I secure new income will be unpleasant (though quite survivable for a while).

I don't have any thoughts at this precise moment, but I'm writing because I have to. In September 2023 I took FMLA leave for three months, and I barely remember it. Yes, I was in a play; yes, I did some real <redacted hobby>; yes, I went to the Dominican Republic. But how fulfilling was all that? How much do I remember? How fulfilling could it have been if I had written about it?

I don't know the answer beyond "more", and IMO that's enough. Logging my life and exploring my thoughts is always a worthy endeavor, and in turbulent stretches like this it's very important.

I don't like making promises to myself, but my last one in January didn't go too poorly. So here goes: from this day and until I start a new money-making endeavor (<redacted> doesn't count) I will post at least once right here. Even if it's just a single character to mark the barest effort, I will do it.

Good luck, me. I know you can do it. <3

(Also, henceforth I'm going to relabel <redacted> as "crocheting".)