By popular (Eric's) demand: Tom Delay is a fuckass.

If he manages to retain his seat in the House of Representatives, I just might consider making a trip back to Katy this coming summer to campaign for his destruction. (Of course, I would see to it that a suitably strong-weak candidate is chosen. Strong enough to handle two re-elections, weak enough for me to club to death when I decide that I want that seat in the first set of elections in which I will be constitutionally permitted to take it.)

Now, I understand that scandal and shit happens. I'm actually not hating on him for that.

I'm hating on him for being Tom Delay--and for being from my district. I mean seriously... there are 435 districts in the United States of America. How the hell did I get stuck with Delay and a voting bloc that puts him back election after election?

The man is a moron. A moron that stands for everything that I don't. And not only is he a moron, but he's a loud moron. A loud moron that is leading the cutting edge of ridiculous conservatism.

I will momentarily digress to say that I wish we were a multi-party democracy instead of this two-party thing. Because if we had more than two viable parties (yes, viable--if someone says something about the Libertarians or someone more marginal, I will eat them), one of two things might very well happen to make me happy (and I will use the metaphor of Israel--thanks Israel!): 1) Tom Delay would join the National Union (minor coalition of rightishness) and be marginalized or 2) Tom Delay would be Binyamin Netanyahu, a man who clings to Likud (the center-right party) and tries to win leadership but can't because a lot of his crazy friends are in other, crazier parties. When you have multiple parties, you tend to get a very nice system where there are two big parties on the center-left and center-right, which are more center than left or right, and then you have a bunch of minor parties. How is this different than America? The minor parties can actually gain seats in the legislature. Which is fucking huge. When someone other than the other two parties gain seats, you suddenly get new viewpoints. Rarely are these views listened to, but they are sometimes, and when they are, that's democracy. (Presently in Israel the Knesset [Parliament] is dominated by Likud, but usually Labor has more power than it does now.)

As I said, I was digressing. Back to Tom Delay, it would be nice if he weren't so influential. He might come up with something creepy that Likud (we're still Israel, yes--but I don't think National Union is part of the coalition [heheheh]) adopts into their platform, but it probably wouldn't be too worrisome or large. He'd just be really annoying. Of course, then I'd really be embarrassed if he were representing my district (I'm not sure how the Israeli electoral system works--there may not be districts in the way we have them, but whatever). But if we were in Israel, I could jump into Shinui (the liberal party, which on most issues [excepting the Palestinian Question], I'm in line with) and be all, "Hey, I don't feel partiless!"

But yes. Back to Delay. He's an idiot. He's a jackass. He is, for some reason, being defended by Republicans that are actually worth their salt. And seeing that just makes me say that we need more than two parties even more--I mean, these guys wouldn't be so quick to defend him if they were in Shas (a decent-sized party of weirdness).

So down with Delay! Down, down, down! Target the foolish motherfucker! Target and destroy! Bring someone reasonable to my seat, dammit! Or better yet, don't--I'd like to take it, after all.

Hasta la byebye.

Some words on the new likely Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court, Mr. John Roberts, and his confirmation:

What the fuck?

I mean, seriously. What the fuck?

I believe in voting against something that's wrong. Really, I do. Whether or not the vote is futile is irrelevant, you should vote with what you determine to be the best. That said, some Senate Democrats need to be beaten.

Especially the ones who are using this vote as a personal political ploy. Yes, I'm looking at you, John Kerry.

Hey, if I were given the opportunity to appoint a judge to fill Mr. Rehnquist's place, I would probably pick a Ruth Bader Ginsberg clone, because she's so awesome. She's against Mother's Day! Come on! What more do you really need?

But seriously, I wouldn't stick Roberts up there if given the choice. But Mr. Bush is the president. Really, it's his call. So now, I must wonder, why are the Democrats being so stupidly obstinate? Why are they unwilling to take what is most likely a less-conservative replacement for Mr. Rehnquist (who, though conservative, was a very good jurist) from a president who is willing to bend over backwards to satisfy his hardline conservative core? Why is relative liberalism a bad thing here? Why?

And besides that... what the hell is the matter with John Roberts? What are his flaws? I saw him on TV when the case of Roe v. Wade came up, and he made it very clear that he holds that to be established precedent (which he later went on to say is reinforced by more precedent). He also made clear that he is a strong believer in precedent, especially when it has existed for thirty years or so. So this huge issue that was not too likely to fall to the liberal side has fallen to the bloody liberal side. What more do you want? Do you want him to say he'll euthanize someone if they want it? Too bad, you pussies. Seeing as how you're the opposition in every sense of the word, you don't have much room to complain when you hear support for Roe. If anything, the Republicans should vote against him because he's not anti-Roe.

But if they did, it wouldn't be right. And that's because the role of the Senate is to confirm people who are qualified--not to deny people who don't fit in with their political views.

And I'm really, really pissed off. And it's not because of this matter that I'm speaking of now. It's because Blogger ate my post. Which is uncool. I could recover some of it. But the rest went away. And I don't have time to finish. Nor do I particularly care to.

So I'll wrapup like this: Bush is president. He's replacing O'Connor. Roberts could be like Kennedy, could be like Souter, probably will be like O'Connor. I see no problem. Democrats are being stupid. Knee-jerk opposition bad. Nominees do not traditionally reveal too much in confirmation hearings so Democrats are unjustified in not voting for Roberts. Another nominee is coming anyway. Knee-jerk opposition will make the Republicans mad. Mad Republicans might try to push through a crazy guy, and moderates in the Republican party might not side with Democrats. If Democrats aren't stupid, they might be able to get respect. But they can't. Because they are, and I quote myself, wielding the power of the opposition like an angsty-teenager that has too much muscular atrophy to properly swing it. Of course, no Senate Democrats read this. And if they did, dilatory would scare them away. Yadayadayada. Next week I talk about stupid people and Iraq and how I'm better than everyone.

End transmission. Hasta la byebye. Evil, evil blogger.

Holas, dawgs.

It's late, I should be sleeping (I have class in under five and one half hours), but clearly I'm not. I have a map quiz to study for, you see, and a blank map that doesn't adequately correspond with the terms given to me--it's a political map, you see, but what's really bad is that it's centered about seven degrees too far north. The shit in Greece! I can't find the shit in Greece!

But I'm going to enjoy it. Especially considering that one of the terms is Morea (like the Mines or Moria in Lord of the Rings). Morea, of course, would happen to be in Greece. Betcha don't know where, though! Suckers!

But yes. Also, I have decided that Undone by Weezer is the most epic non-epic song ever. It's quite delicious. Like sweet cherry pie.

To inject more information, I would like to declare that I am successfully mostly almost completely off-book for my play! This is wonderful, because it means I got to get out of rehearsal earlier than a few people today, and I made my director Finn happy with a heart-rending version of my forty-four line monologue (which should last about four hours) in one minute approximately.

And I had a French test today. I think I kicked its ass. In fact, I think the sheer force of impact, combined with the various fluids leaking from it and congealing, will result in it still being plastered to the door when I go back to class on Friday, at which point I will say "ha!"

Also, I had Indoor Soccer today. And today, like all days, whatever team I'm on is always kicking ass. Why? I'm not sure, actually. I'm not a stellar goalkeeper or anything--I hold my own and I actually enjoy it, which is good, sure, but I'm no heroic anti-goal figure like Rustu (long live the old guard of Turkish soccer; Hakan Sukur and Rustu will always be my heroes, even though they played for Galatasaray and Fenerbahce respectively--Besiktas would be the good, non-evil team, just in case you were wondering).

What else... I want to regale you, my children, I want to spill my guts so that you may be happy. Oh! I know! Arrested Development rocks! The late rehearsal time on Sunday allowed me to see it for the first time in... forever. It was awesome. I nearly orgasmed, even though, as always, there isn't any sensationalism.

Correction. I did orgasm.

Hahaha! HaHA!

Let's round this out... somehow... hmmm... watch me unravel--I'll soon be naked?

Or you can just keep loyal, dear readers, and read this shiz-nizzle-butt-dawg in the awkward intervals in which it comes out. Find the symbolism! Analyze the symbolism! Create the symbolism! And love your author! Dawg-diggity!

Hasta la byebye.

Hello everyone. Eric wants me to update or call him, and since I didn't see that he wanted me to call him before such timing would just be awful, I have decided to update.

First, an addendum. While I have indeed landed the role of Jack in Jack (or the Submission), I was mistaken about it being a lead role, per se. I am the focus of the play, yes; I am on stage for the whole bloody thing, yes; I have the longest single line in the play, yes (measuring forty-four standard lines of text [which is more than one page {of which I have memorized fourteen}]); but really, I'm not a lead. I mean, for the first five pages of the play--which constitutes approximately 1/6 of the play--I say nothing. But this doesn't mean my role isn't badass. My favorite parts? 1) Green hair (visible only at the end), 2) Kinky, existential horse sex, 3) Changing emotion six times in the course of five lines of text that are embedded in one of my lines, and 4) The presence of the word "catawampous" in one of my lines.

In other news, I'm seeking an internship with the Department of State--preferably one that will send me to Cameroon (which is in sub-Saharan Africa, for those of you who are geographically challenged) in the summer. This would mean, sadly, that I would see none of my blogging audience in the summer, but chances like this don't come often. Really, though, I should shut up about it now that I've mentioned it since I haven't even applied yet, admission to the program is extraordinarily competitive, and even if I did get in, I wouldn't find out until at least December.

In yet more news, I really should be memorizing my lines right now. But it's not an easy task. Especially considering that I'm working on my monologue o' death presently. I must say, it's a wonderful monologue, and if I can figure out exactly what I'm supposed to be saying (read some of Eugen Ionescu's [Eugène Ionesco's if you go by the French spelling] work and you'll see what I mean), it'll be damn sexy, yo.

In further news, I'm now very tired. And I must sleep (but not before memorizing an addition eight lines of text in my monologue). Good night, mis padres. Hasta la byebye.

(P.S. I have demanded through my biography to be printed in the show's playbill that someone videotape it. We just might get lucky.)

This blog is not dead. It will reemerge from the ground like a cicada when its time has come.

But before the time comes, I have good news that doesn't involve car insurance.

I have been cast as Jack in Jack (or the Submission) by Eugene Ianesco. A play that is the epitome of Theatre of the Absurd, and a play in which I have snagged my first ever lead role. Granted, it's only a one-act play, and granted, the role was actually presented to a "Cantay Okan," but it warrants public announcement and general feather flaunting. Seriously. If I were a cardinal or something, you would see my grand breast and you would want to mate with me, for it is so grand.

You crazy sex-crazed crazies. Hasta la byebye.