One very quick update!

All right, so you know I won $150 playing in the College Poker Championship freeroll. But now there is breaking news!

I entered into another tournament, this time one that actually required payment. Naturally I used my winnings and paid the $5 + $1 ($5 goes into the prize pool, $1 goes to the casino--yes, they make a killing) to get in. And then I pwned all.

Using my magical skills of magic, I fought my way up to number one for a short period of time before getting dragged down by a flush, then a straight, and then an all-in matchup against pocket nines whilst I had AJ suited. I went from about 12,000 chips to 3,765. But I refused to submit! Though I trawled the bottom of the leaderboard for a long time, I eventually worked my way back up to a range of 10,000-15,000 chips, which I stayed at up until I came to the final table (where everyone was guaranteed some money).

It got crazy at that point. I got a whole bunch of very playable hands after the tenth and ninth place guys were eliminated, and so I bumped around. A lot. Lows at 10,000 (when the blinds were 1,000/2,000--which for those of you that don't know, is fucking scary) and highs at 40,000. I kept bumping around until suddenly in a massive hand, the chip leader dispatched two of the five remaining players from the table with one big hand (pocket deuces vs. pocket jacks vs. pocket aces--the jacks belonged to the leader, and they tripped-up on the flop [that means she won]). Suddenly it was down to three.

The three of us tested each other a good bit for a while. And then suddenly I made a bold move with K-10 of all hands. I was big blind, and the chip leader called. I doubled the bet and she called again. Flop comes down 4-2-10. We both check (because I'm feeling sneaky). Turn comes down K. Now I have two pair, and now the chip leader felt like betting at the pot. So she did. I called. River comes down as an 8 or something. She bets big, I double, she calls, and suddenly I have more chips than both of the other players combined.

Sadly, this did not last long. I was defeated in a big hand after that where I had K-3 and the former chip leader had K-7. The flop went 10-7-3. She bet, I called. Turn comes down K. She bet, I called. River comes down 4. She bet, I raised, she called, and I was sad. After some more big hands that I can't quite remember, I ended up with something like 1,657 chips. So I went all-in with 6-3. And died.

But that's okay! Because third place gets money! $74.37 to be precise. ^.^

This makes me feel a whole lot better about losing $6 to John heads-up earlier tonight.

Hurray! ^.^ And hasta la byebye!

Okay, okay.

I get the point. I'm a bad, bad man. Again. One of these days it'll stick.

I will still hit that ratio, though. Don't you be forgettin'. Seriously, now. Four days = one blog on average. Now let's get to the juice!

I am home! And let me tell you that it's wonderful to be back amongst my friends and family, where the sanctity of my room is inviolable and work is a mere abstraction.

As of yesterday all of my grades have been reported to me (the last two came very slowly, you see). I declare happily that despite multiple engine burnouts, hydraulic leaks, and small explosions, my GPA has not tanked; in fact, I managed to make the Dean's List again (though just barely, squeaking out a 3.5133 for the semester which translates into a 3.639 cumulatively). So that is cause for celebration!

And I have yet more cause for celebration! You see, the 3rd College Poker Championship began today with a little tournament designed to whet our little appetites by offering cash to those who finish in the top ten. Needless to say, I won cash. But what place did I finish in? Tenth? Ninth? Fourth? Perhaps third? No! I finished second!

Just kidding, actually. I finished first. Bitches. $150. Cha-ching! And I didn't even have to give them cash first! ^.^

So I dance. With gusto. Because I now have more money.

Of course, things aren't all peachy. You may or may not know that I am searching for a job. And that I have effectively limited myself to one. If I get it. It's at the Sylvan Learning Center, you see, where I would teach youngerlings about algebra and geometry so that their SAT scores might be higher. Unfortunately, the people at Sylvan have not been very good about contacting me quickly, and I am as yet unsure of what may be happening. Stay tuned for details.

And also, there is the expected consequence. I sit here in Texas, Danielle's in the Shire. So I got no lovin'.

But she did call me sexy today. So I'm nicely twitterpated. ^.^

This, of course, does not make Eric and John happy. Because they want to go searching for females. Well, this paragraph is for you guys. Haha! Sucks to be you! Even though I'm physically in the same situation! Ha!

Oh, and one more thing before I end this blog to begin the other blogs... I just saw Kingdom of Heaven. And let me tell you, Orlando Bloom was actually good. For the first ten minutes. He magically became worse after that. Go figure. Especially since they don't film these things forward-to-back.

But if there is one thing I can say about this movie, it's to beware of GI Jane. That is all.

And now I bid you good evening dear small ones! Hasta la byebye!

Awwwwww shee-it. It's 8 and I just remembered that I needed to do laundry last night. Bah! I have an exam (o' death) in two hours! Bah I say! Bahhhhh! ::Eats a tin can in frustration::

But yeah. International Affairs exam at 1o:20. Barely studied. Doing some of that now. Slept like two hours. Exhausted. Need sleep. Last day of finals for me though. And then sleep. Sweet, blissful sleep!

You guys know what's funny, though? The very last note I took in my IAFF class is "POO!!!" in very large letters. Personally I find this frickin' hilarious--dare I say hilario?

But yes. I also have an exam at 3. But that's okay. I can kill it. I hope. And then I can sleep! Hahahahahhaha! (But not before going out to dinner with Ashley, her pop, and Danielle).

Hasta la byebye, mis jóvenes abuelos! No olviden! NO OLVIDEN!

I have, since my initial entrance to Washington DC for college, made fifty-two entries here on Hasta la Byebye. Thirty-five of those entries were made from late August 2004 until the end of 2004. This averages out to .277~ entries per day or just over one entry every four days. The remaining seventeen were made from the beginning of 2005 up until now. This averages out to just over .129 entries per day or just over one entry every eight days. What does this tell you? Aside from the fact that I am obviously an asshole, I am an asshole that has become worse with time. My blogging frequency decreased by more than 50% from the latter part of 2004 to the present part of 2005. Cantay no likey.

A new policy shall take effect in the management of Hasta la Byebye whereby I shall be required to submit one blog every four days starting on 5/19/2005, which coincides with the tenth aniverssary of my sister Asena's birth.

Now that that has been said, my audience had better not fucking leave. Else I'll be pissed and shit.

Now on to more fun matters! Because I am so supremely satisfied with my courses for next semester, I shall now share them with you:

IAFF 190:13.....US Foreign Policy in Africa
ECON 101:12...Intermediate Microeconomics (with Calculus, bitches)
HONR 028:10...Honors Statistics
FREN 003:14...Intermediate French
HIST 143:10.....Making of the Modern Balkans
GEOG 146:10...Political Geography
EXSA 037:10....Indoor Soccer
MUSC 153:10...Vocal Theatre Workshop

Now, you might be wondering: "What the fuck? How does Cantay have eight classes? Isn't it generally accepted that a fellow is supposed to take fifteen credit hours--meaning five classes?"

Fuck no! That's right bitches! Twenty-four credits! Why? Well, to be quite honest, I miss the good old days when we had seven classes each day (or six if you had a study hall and even fewer if you were a fuckass). The way I've got it worked out now, it's actually only four classes each day, but it totals out to an average of six hours per day (though on Mondays it's actually about eight and one half). I think that part of the reason--a big part, actually--that I did so poorly this semester is that I wasn't feeling challenged enough, so I prepared a wide medley of courses for me to take that actually all count towards something in my major (except Indoor Soccer).

You guys might think I'm fucking insane or that perhaps I'm a sociopathic moron, but I'm not!

Plus, I'm lying, bitches! Why the fuck would I take twenty-four credits? Jesus, I can't believe you believed that shit.

But that list is legitimate. The first four classes are more or less locked in, making twelve credits for Cantay. However, the situation between Political Geography and Making of the Modern Balkans is quite simply one of "I'm a little baby that couldn't hit the register button in time. Wahwahwah." I originally wanted Making of the Modern Balkans (even though it's an 8AM class), you see, but on registration day, it closed quicker than a Calvinist's asshole. Somehow I managed to get into US Foreign Policy in Africa (a course taught by a former ambassador to Ethiopia and Burkina Faso) which was on Monday in the evening, but I couldn't squeeze into Making of the Modern Balkans.

Eventually I picked up Political Geography while on one of my numerous (and I mean numerous) runs on our online course registration site, but it's a course that is offered every semester. Making of the Modern Balkans is offered in alternating fall semesters, meaning I'd have to wait until my senior year to take that class if it were actually available--this school has a tendency not to run courses sometimes, you see. It's a class that fulfills a major requirement and it would do a very nice job of educating me on something so important but so overlooked. I mean, come on. What do you think of when you think Balkans? Maybe Slobodan. Maybe Tito. Maybe Ceausescu. But if you're an International Affairs major and that's all you know... pfft. That's jack shit, bitch. Besides, it's so bloody close to Turkey (and it used to be a part of the Ottoman Empire! Yay!).

I finally gathered the will to email the professor of the course and ask her to sign me in despite the fact that it was full. And she assented! ^.^

Well... I think. She said she'd put me on the waiting list and sign me in, but she didn't necessarily say she would do it no matter what. She also said it would be done at the beginning of Fall 2005. So, because of that, I am holding on to Political Geography just in case something bad happens (I need at least 15 credits to maintain my scholarship anyway--I don't want to risk trouble with the Honors Program).

As for Indoor Soccer and Vocal Theatre Workshop? Little baby one-credit courses, of course! Sheesh. You guys are so damn gullible. Heheheh--but I am actually really excited about both of those, because Indoor Soccer is just... indoor soccer and Vocal Theatre Workshop apparently involves very little singing and a whole lot of improvisation! Yay! ^.^

So that puts me at a grand total of 17 credits for next semester, which is the maximum I can take without them charging me extra. Heheheheheh.

Now let's hope that I don't fail the European History final that I've put of studying for by writing this blog! Yay!

Hasta la byebye you whores that are probably all enjoying yourselves much more than I at this general moment!

All right. So you know why I'm here. That's right. I have a paper to do.

But I have a very legitimate reason for not working on it just at this moment. You may or may not remember a blog earlier this school year where I complained about this female who was listening to Josh Groban so loudly that I could hear it through her headphones.

Well, apparently that is a sort of recurring theme here at This Fair George Washington University. An unattractive female recently walked into the computer lab that I only entered five or ten minutes ago. At first I heard a sort of funny noise. And then it went away. But then it came back. Oh dear God, it came back!

It was Train! Train! Fucking Train! What the fucking hell? WHY? She's sitting two bloody rows away from me, and I can hear what her iPod is blasting into her stupid little ears. I never hear anyone's music when they're listening and we're standing together in the elevator or something. What the hell? This female deserves a painful death.

Thankfully, however, she seems to be printing something out right now. For now I can't hear anymore Train (it was Meet Virginia, by the way--a song which others say is great, but I say is pure, undiluted bullshit that has infact been distilled three or four times).

Why do females like this exist? Why isn't she running? Can't she sense the hate vibes? Perhaps I'm not projecting them strongly enough--perhaps I should give her the evil eye until she looks up at me (at which point I would turn away and continue typing).

Gah! She hasn't left! Indeed, from my eavesdropping, I have determined that she is opening more applications now! Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck! Or as Ray would say, "Feck feck feck feck feck feck feck!" (There are usually nine, but the first two are done in a sort of independent way.)

But wait! She is printing again! Mayhap I shall be able to continue working whilst the coffee runs boldly through my blood! Damn that fucking whore! Damn her! Damn her and all females! Every last one! ALL FEMALES MUST DIE!

Oh well. That's all I've got.

Oh wait! Hallelujiah! She's gone! Gone, gone, gone! The evil blood-sucking, mind-destroying bitch from the planet Omega-Thetacron-Assmuncher 7 has left!

I shall now return to work. But first, a note to those who comment on my blog:

1) Carrying Cathy is superior.
2) I deserve my Pullitzer Prizes. Thank you.
3) Fuck you, Eric. I don't see you with anything.

Hasta la byebye, kids. Daddy has to write obscenely large amounts of stuff about John Stuart Mill and Karl Marx. W00t!