Feeling numb; too early?

Simon was admitted like 10 hours ago and it seems like I hardly feel it anymore. Pretty sure that's normal for grief, but it feels so wrong. Not morally wrong, but... man, I don't even know where I'm going with this.

Our dear friend Ammu brought me dinner tonight. I'm going out with Ally tomorrow for lunch. Both courtesy of Danielle.

I skipped rehearsal tonight (oh btw I'm in a production of The Tempest) and postponed the cleaners who were coming tomorrow morning. I'm skipping the Weird Al concert I bought a ticket for like a year ago. There are probably other things I need to do, but I don't remember.

I didn't actually eat much dinner even though I was hungry. I think that's the numbness. But it's weird--I feel most emotions normally and have desires. I don't feel depressed the way I can feel depressed. I'm sad, but it's kind of distant. I'm scared, but that's very distant. The worry about not wearing my retainers all day is further forward in my mind than the worry about my sweet boy. Some short hours ago Simon was everything. I guess my psyche is doing what it's supposed to do in extremely stressful moments like these?

I think maybe I won't regret this numbness. I hope not. Just before submitting, I added punctuation to the title of this post. Hopefully the equivocation is justified.