Working through mental constipation

I have a lot to say, but only a fraction of it gets expressed by talking to Ielly, or friends, or myself. Blogging is an outlet that I've underutilized. Now I am out of practice and kinda gummed up; I can feel the pressure of ideas but struggle to effect the conjunction of relevant topics with interest in writing.

But here's a small something: in the Dark Unblogged Ages, Danielle's (and my) friend Ally and I came up with an ephemeral idea of making a podcast. One of the potential themes would be for one of us to exhaustively research a topic or read a book while the other did no preparation, and then just talk. We have a nice cadence to our conversations, we figured, and it could be interesting and fun.

I went to the lengths of buying microphones and setting up recording software on my laptop. (RIP. Wait, did I even tell you about that? It was stolen in Vegas. I'll have to tell you about that.)

But I was more into the idea than she was, and I wasn't even that into it. Not in terms of excitement, but in terms of execution. I am still excited at the prospect of doing a podcast with her (or anyone). Not excited about feeling like I'm shouting into a void, though. That's what you're for!

Most of all, I dread the feeling of doing a lot of work only to make something that goes nowhere. I think I am always weakened by that kind of thing, and especially since I started my current job, where it feels like so many efforts have been forgotten or ignored while some non-efforts become unsuitable foundations for important business decisions.

So the podcast idea that we shared died pretty quickly. The idea in my head lives only in weak embers. Someone I met in the <redacted> sphere separately suggested I'd be a great podcaster, and that spurred excited feelings (but no ideas). I just think sometimes about doing that kind of thing. I get wistful about opportunities I never put myself in line for. Sometimes I feel a little hope.

Okay, I think that counts as passing at least one goat-poop. That's a win in my book. Also I remain technically in compliance with my January self-care goals. =D