A new obsession
In April of last year, I discovered Hamilton when I saw it in Houston while visiting family. It was amazing, and I slurped up the soundtrack and animatic YouTube videos until the wee hours of the morning for many nights afterwards. The obsession was intense, and I could hardly stop gushing about Hamilton's glory to Danielle, who quickly grew to dislike the musical and my incessant praise of it.
It's hard for me to describe what happens to me after I consume art that I really like, particularly if it has complex emotional texture. Sometimes I get simultaneously intensely happy and sad when I think about it; I may become prone to tearing up when pondering over or consuming elements of it that resonate emotionally (like the song Satisfied, which still affects me quite a bit if I hear it after no exposure for a few days); I may gravitate toward reminders of it and possibly seek out additional resources or commentaries; sometimes it ensconces itself in the back of my mind while I'm doing or thinking about completely unrelated things.
All of those things happened with Hamilton, and now they're happening with, of all things, a Taiwanese romantic visual novel called Nekojishi, starring a gay human furry protagonist and three gods/spirits that manifest as very handsome "beastmen" that compete to enlist his aid for their own agendas, leaving our hero in a very uncomfortable situation. First, in case anyone is reading this: Nekojishi should be consumed by everyone who likes the romantic visual novel genre; you do not need to dig dudes or furries to enjoy this, and all content is PG-13 unless you mod the game. The English translation is very well done, and the full breadth of the story is extremely poignant (particularly once you've experienced all of the non-bad endings).
I am tearing up right now as I write this. It does not help that I have the opening theme for the game playing on repeat.
Most people wouldn't like Nekojishi as much as me. I am a bisexual furry that loves to feel conflicting emotions, so this is right up my alley. My perspective is irrevocably biased. However, I am better than most at mitigating such biases, and I'm telling you, as objectively as I can, that if you like or even might like romantic visual novels, you need to play Nekojishi. It's free!
I've brought up Nekojishi to Danielle several times, and she has been slightly less annoyed and discomfited than I'd expected, but much more than I'd hoped. She is... prejudiced against furries, and she's generally woke enough that she shouldn't be. I'm not sure how much, exactly, but it makes her uncomfortable that I identify as a furry, and it seems like she tries to deny it to herself.
I really want to sit her down and pour my heart out to her, beg her to understand that 1) most furries are a lot milder than popular culture would suggest, and 2) furries like what they like--it's not exactly like being gay, but it's close enough that you ought not spray hatorade or share your discomfort with any furry; your discomfort is your discomfort. You ought not burden the people who are already persecuted and maligned because you feel weird about it. (Things are a bit more complicated when your boyfriend, rather than some rando, is a furry, but her prejudice/discomfort extends to all furries.)
Someday, perhaps soon, we will have that conversation, and hopefully it won't rock her too hard. And one reason that Nekojishi strikes me as forcefully as it does is that it makes me think about these things too, which carry a lot of emotion in their own right. It also makes me want to rediscover a sense of community that I had with Star Trek roleplaying, with Ansteorra, and with various forums, which I haven't really had since I stopped participating in the fandom many years ago. I miss it. So much, sometimes (tearing up now, for those of you keeping track at home; I've also been experiencing a lot of chest tightness throughout--hopefully not a heart attack).
Phew, that was quite a lot. I don't know whether any of my feelings--for Hamilton or Nekojishi--were a manifestation of hypomania, but as a gentleman with bipolar disorder, you have to be careful with these sorts of things. I'm going to start distancing myself from the game for a little while. At least until my feelings settle down a bit. Writing about it helps.
To sign off, I'd like to quote the entirety one of my favorite positive reviews for Nekojishi from Steam. A lot of the reviews have a similar theme. If this doesn't make you want to play it, then... probably read the more serious reviews instead.
It's hard for me to describe what happens to me after I consume art that I really like, particularly if it has complex emotional texture. Sometimes I get simultaneously intensely happy and sad when I think about it; I may become prone to tearing up when pondering over or consuming elements of it that resonate emotionally (like the song Satisfied, which still affects me quite a bit if I hear it after no exposure for a few days); I may gravitate toward reminders of it and possibly seek out additional resources or commentaries; sometimes it ensconces itself in the back of my mind while I'm doing or thinking about completely unrelated things.
All of those things happened with Hamilton, and now they're happening with, of all things, a Taiwanese romantic visual novel called Nekojishi, starring a gay human furry protagonist and three gods/spirits that manifest as very handsome "beastmen" that compete to enlist his aid for their own agendas, leaving our hero in a very uncomfortable situation. First, in case anyone is reading this: Nekojishi should be consumed by everyone who likes the romantic visual novel genre; you do not need to dig dudes or furries to enjoy this, and all content is PG-13 unless you mod the game. The English translation is very well done, and the full breadth of the story is extremely poignant (particularly once you've experienced all of the non-bad endings).
I am tearing up right now as I write this. It does not help that I have the opening theme for the game playing on repeat.
Most people wouldn't like Nekojishi as much as me. I am a bisexual furry that loves to feel conflicting emotions, so this is right up my alley. My perspective is irrevocably biased. However, I am better than most at mitigating such biases, and I'm telling you, as objectively as I can, that if you like or even might like romantic visual novels, you need to play Nekojishi. It's free!
I've brought up Nekojishi to Danielle several times, and she has been slightly less annoyed and discomfited than I'd expected, but much more than I'd hoped. She is... prejudiced against furries, and she's generally woke enough that she shouldn't be. I'm not sure how much, exactly, but it makes her uncomfortable that I identify as a furry, and it seems like she tries to deny it to herself.
I really want to sit her down and pour my heart out to her, beg her to understand that 1) most furries are a lot milder than popular culture would suggest, and 2) furries like what they like--it's not exactly like being gay, but it's close enough that you ought not spray hatorade or share your discomfort with any furry; your discomfort is your discomfort. You ought not burden the people who are already persecuted and maligned because you feel weird about it. (Things are a bit more complicated when your boyfriend, rather than some rando, is a furry, but her prejudice/discomfort extends to all furries.)
Someday, perhaps soon, we will have that conversation, and hopefully it won't rock her too hard. And one reason that Nekojishi strikes me as forcefully as it does is that it makes me think about these things too, which carry a lot of emotion in their own right. It also makes me want to rediscover a sense of community that I had with Star Trek roleplaying, with Ansteorra, and with various forums, which I haven't really had since I stopped participating in the fandom many years ago. I miss it. So much, sometimes (tearing up now, for those of you keeping track at home; I've also been experiencing a lot of chest tightness throughout--hopefully not a heart attack).
Phew, that was quite a lot. I don't know whether any of my feelings--for Hamilton or Nekojishi--were a manifestation of hypomania, but as a gentleman with bipolar disorder, you have to be careful with these sorts of things. I'm going to start distancing myself from the game for a little while. At least until my feelings settle down a bit. Writing about it helps.
To sign off, I'd like to quote the entirety one of my favorite positive reviews for Nekojishi from Steam. A lot of the reviews have a similar theme. If this doesn't make you want to play it, then... probably read the more serious reviews instead.
im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a gay furry im not a
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