The swirling amalgamation of not-unpleasant feelings

First: Thank you, dear friend--you know who you are. Please forgive me for only adhering to 50-75% of your wishes. I miss you. Be well.

Now: To clarify on the last post, I'm not unhappy, but I know I'm also not fulfilling the expectations that I have for myself. My progress towards doing so is slow and uneven, but it is progress nevertheless, and I will continue to soldier on.

But I am impatient and frustrated with my partially-willful inability to go faster and be stronger. Steps 1 through 5 (and others that have and will be discovered) are both means and ends, which makes them more desirable but simultaneously harder to execute if you aren't doing so already.

So... onward!

(Also, I'm really hoping my imminent trip to California will result in some extra sleep. Fingers crossed.)