Happy birthday! To me!
Now I'm older, just like every day, every minute. But today we get to mark this aging in a meaningful way. Today I am twenty-three years old.
I've got a fair amount going on--a move to a new state in a few weeks, a reasonably new income-source, funky medical diagnoses that have hopefully stopped rolling in (still waiting on results from the endocrinologist, who ran over a thousand dollars worth of tests on me based exclusively on my family history of hypothyroidism).
But this is a critical moment. In a rather abrupt fashion the moving will come to an end, and my medical care will become routine once again. Poker, being the fickle beast that it is, can surprise me and become as ordinary as the weeds. I could suddenly wind up with dullness in place of vivacity, giving in too readily to my reclusive tendencies when I have no close friends nearby but Danielle. That would be a drag.
So I must act now, dear hearts!
Watching some old episodes of The Show (see L'Awesome in the sidebar), I was reminded of the evils of brain crack: the insidious good ideas that fester in your mind, the ones you always refine and dream about, but never implement. I am a brain crack fiend, sadly. I think this is in no small part due to my personality. I am very adept at starting interesting little projects and letting them fizzle out after spending very little time on them. I suppose that isn't pure brain crack since I do start actually working on the ideas, but the real rub is that I'm not letting my plans truly see the light of day--whether they're just in my head or very barely begun in a place where only I can see them, I still imagine the perfect, finished product, with rainbows and waterfalls, and paparazzi and dancing clowns and complete strangers all celebrating this beautiful project I have completed. (Here's a link to the episode in question, which explains brain crack more eloquently, and which I rip off not-too-subtly.)
I think I need to wean myself off of this brain crack. It'll be good for me, especially since the stuff is most pernicious when you have nothing better to do.
So what ideas do I have? Not many, to be honest. I think the most promising one is to try some stand-up comedy. Sure, it might wind up completely sucking, but I definitely have the skills to write and memorize a routine. The hard part will be writing it well. And the timing. My timing is pretty atrocious in day-to-day life, but I think that when I have everything scripted out and practiced, and I have an audience to feed off of, I'd be funny.
The second-best one is to really unleash nowedidnt.com upon the world. Buying the domain name was my silly little way of embarking on a project but otherwise leaving it unfinished. Finishing it would be very sweet indeed, but I worry that it may be impractical. I have little interest in actual reporting, and I'm having trouble figuring out exactly what I'd write that would look much different than Hasta la Byebye. Sure, nowedidnt.com might actually do well if I polished up, wrote about things other than myself and actually marketed the site, but doing it that way seems kind of cheap. One thing I will absolutely need to make it work, though, is help. So I ask again, if any of you 1.6 readers might want to join me in this project, the project might actually start rolling.
The third-best idea is to go in an even more derivative direction: video-blogging! This actually could be the format of nowedidnt.com, or it could be a new site altogether. The biggest obstacles to this would be technical: I'd probably need a better camera, I'd definitely need some decent editing software, and I'd have to learn how to edit. And let's not forget the creative element. What the hell would I talk about? Politics? Would I try to count on some magical Ze Frank effect, where I find direction in variety and quirkiness? The initial difficulties in at least developing some skills with editing and technical aspects of framing, lighting, etc., will be difficult to overcome. But something cool could come of this.
I think I had other ideas too, but I don't know what they were anymore. All I know is that I can't sit here simply sharing ideas. I have to actually put them to work. As the great Mr. Frank said in another one of his shows, the biggest challenge is that first push, from zero to one.
Hasta la Byebye, honey-bunnies.
I've got a fair amount going on--a move to a new state in a few weeks, a reasonably new income-source, funky medical diagnoses that have hopefully stopped rolling in (still waiting on results from the endocrinologist, who ran over a thousand dollars worth of tests on me based exclusively on my family history of hypothyroidism).
But this is a critical moment. In a rather abrupt fashion the moving will come to an end, and my medical care will become routine once again. Poker, being the fickle beast that it is, can surprise me and become as ordinary as the weeds. I could suddenly wind up with dullness in place of vivacity, giving in too readily to my reclusive tendencies when I have no close friends nearby but Danielle. That would be a drag.
So I must act now, dear hearts!
Watching some old episodes of The Show (see L'Awesome in the sidebar), I was reminded of the evils of brain crack: the insidious good ideas that fester in your mind, the ones you always refine and dream about, but never implement. I am a brain crack fiend, sadly. I think this is in no small part due to my personality. I am very adept at starting interesting little projects and letting them fizzle out after spending very little time on them. I suppose that isn't pure brain crack since I do start actually working on the ideas, but the real rub is that I'm not letting my plans truly see the light of day--whether they're just in my head or very barely begun in a place where only I can see them, I still imagine the perfect, finished product, with rainbows and waterfalls, and paparazzi and dancing clowns and complete strangers all celebrating this beautiful project I have completed. (Here's a link to the episode in question, which explains brain crack more eloquently, and which I rip off not-too-subtly.)
I think I need to wean myself off of this brain crack. It'll be good for me, especially since the stuff is most pernicious when you have nothing better to do.
So what ideas do I have? Not many, to be honest. I think the most promising one is to try some stand-up comedy. Sure, it might wind up completely sucking, but I definitely have the skills to write and memorize a routine. The hard part will be writing it well. And the timing. My timing is pretty atrocious in day-to-day life, but I think that when I have everything scripted out and practiced, and I have an audience to feed off of, I'd be funny.
The second-best one is to really unleash nowedidnt.com upon the world. Buying the domain name was my silly little way of embarking on a project but otherwise leaving it unfinished. Finishing it would be very sweet indeed, but I worry that it may be impractical. I have little interest in actual reporting, and I'm having trouble figuring out exactly what I'd write that would look much different than Hasta la Byebye. Sure, nowedidnt.com might actually do well if I polished up, wrote about things other than myself and actually marketed the site, but doing it that way seems kind of cheap. One thing I will absolutely need to make it work, though, is help. So I ask again, if any of you 1.6 readers might want to join me in this project, the project might actually start rolling.
The third-best idea is to go in an even more derivative direction: video-blogging! This actually could be the format of nowedidnt.com, or it could be a new site altogether. The biggest obstacles to this would be technical: I'd probably need a better camera, I'd definitely need some decent editing software, and I'd have to learn how to edit. And let's not forget the creative element. What the hell would I talk about? Politics? Would I try to count on some magical Ze Frank effect, where I find direction in variety and quirkiness? The initial difficulties in at least developing some skills with editing and technical aspects of framing, lighting, etc., will be difficult to overcome. But something cool could come of this.
I think I had other ideas too, but I don't know what they were anymore. All I know is that I can't sit here simply sharing ideas. I have to actually put them to work. As the great Mr. Frank said in another one of his shows, the biggest challenge is that first push, from zero to one.
Hasta la Byebye, honey-bunnies.
Labels: birthday, brain crack
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