And penises were for pulling out in public to make your friends laugh

They still do.

I'm feeling just a touch immature right now, so I'm playing and replaying an image of me using a three-foot-long, flaccid penis to whip on some sort of evil-doer, injuring and humiliating them at the same time. My weakness would be arousal; if at any point I got excited, all three feet of penis would swell with blood, depriving my brain and body, and leaving me mostly defenseless. I would be part of an awesome superhero team, though, and my buddies would come to my aid by destroying the source of my horniness.

But I don't know what their powers would be. So if anyone in my paltry audience would care to venture some awesome, yet strange and not-terribly-effective superpower (or supertrait), that would be really cool. And if you want, you could also join my fictional superteam. Yes!