Live from Ohio
I'm staying in my cousin Nicholas's room. Nicholas is nearly four years old, and like many boys his age he wears Pull-Ups. I don't mind. Embarrassingly enough, I had trouble with going to the potty well into elementary school.
The problem I have is that, sitting here right now, every fourth breath I take smells of old urine. I've been searching for the source, but to no avail. So I'm sitting here. Breathing it in. Hoping that it will somehow magically go away.
But I'm here, in this massive, lavishly-built house. I still haven't seen all of it yet, even though I've been here for nearly twenty-four hours. It boggles my mind to think of how rich this section of my family is. My parents, my Ferzan Teyze and Anneanne, my Vildan Teyze and Uncle Mike, and my grandparents-in-law had dinner reservations at some place that was probably rather swanky. Vildan Teyze gave me $50 to handle the pizza. Under the erroneous assumption that six people whose combined age is about 79 would eat three large pizzas, we ordered three large pizzas. I forgot that large pizzas apparently cost $15 each, so it's a good thing that my aunt gave me that sweet, sexy picture of Mr. Grant.
I also saw Music and Lyrics, which is undoubtedly one of Drew Barrymore's best performances--not that that's saying much, and it isn't, but she doesn't suck. Hugh Grant, despite apparenlty being an insufferable ass off the screen, is quite charming in the film. And I'm glad that the guy who played (Everybody Loves) Raymond's brother was able to play someone subtly but significantly different from Raymond's brother. All told, the movie is a chick-flick, but it's definitely palatable for just about everyone. Especially Hugh Grant. I'd like to put Hugh Grant, Chris Martin and Pablo Picasso into a room together. I wonder what would happen.
And I'm reading Middlesex. I've owned the book for nearly a year now, but I've only begun. So far it's an absolutely captivating read. What pisses me off though is that I had no idea that this book would have anything to do with Turkey. As it turns out it does. Somehow I wish I'd known. The author, Jeffrey Eugenides, is a Greek, but all things told he's presented Turkey pretty accurately from what little I know about the history of the time. It is unfortunate that his protagonists of the hour also happen to be Greeks, however, because it means Greek atrocities are vaguely perpetuated elsewhere while the Turkish atrocities are happening right there. But there's nothing that can be done about this without compromising the proper feel of the setting, so I certainly don't fault Mr. Eugenides, who is perhaps one of the most fun reads I've had in a while. Even when he's talking about children being lifted by bayonets through the sternum. It's strange the guilt you feel for the stomach-turning actions of your erstwhile countrymen.
On a much lighter note, I bet you don't know what erstwhile means--except that you can probably gather it from context. Well, I didn't know until I read it several times in The Economist and got really agitated. I don't think I've seen anyone but them use it either. Oh well, I'm their faithful tool. I am more than happy to say erstwhile if it makes me feel closer to them.
The problem I have is that, sitting here right now, every fourth breath I take smells of old urine. I've been searching for the source, but to no avail. So I'm sitting here. Breathing it in. Hoping that it will somehow magically go away.
But I'm here, in this massive, lavishly-built house. I still haven't seen all of it yet, even though I've been here for nearly twenty-four hours. It boggles my mind to think of how rich this section of my family is. My parents, my Ferzan Teyze and Anneanne, my Vildan Teyze and Uncle Mike, and my grandparents-in-law had dinner reservations at some place that was probably rather swanky. Vildan Teyze gave me $50 to handle the pizza. Under the erroneous assumption that six people whose combined age is about 79 would eat three large pizzas, we ordered three large pizzas. I forgot that large pizzas apparently cost $15 each, so it's a good thing that my aunt gave me that sweet, sexy picture of Mr. Grant.
I also saw Music and Lyrics, which is undoubtedly one of Drew Barrymore's best performances--not that that's saying much, and it isn't, but she doesn't suck. Hugh Grant, despite apparenlty being an insufferable ass off the screen, is quite charming in the film. And I'm glad that the guy who played (Everybody Loves) Raymond's brother was able to play someone subtly but significantly different from Raymond's brother. All told, the movie is a chick-flick, but it's definitely palatable for just about everyone. Especially Hugh Grant. I'd like to put Hugh Grant, Chris Martin and Pablo Picasso into a room together. I wonder what would happen.
And I'm reading Middlesex. I've owned the book for nearly a year now, but I've only begun. So far it's an absolutely captivating read. What pisses me off though is that I had no idea that this book would have anything to do with Turkey. As it turns out it does. Somehow I wish I'd known. The author, Jeffrey Eugenides, is a Greek, but all things told he's presented Turkey pretty accurately from what little I know about the history of the time. It is unfortunate that his protagonists of the hour also happen to be Greeks, however, because it means Greek atrocities are vaguely perpetuated elsewhere while the Turkish atrocities are happening right there. But there's nothing that can be done about this without compromising the proper feel of the setting, so I certainly don't fault Mr. Eugenides, who is perhaps one of the most fun reads I've had in a while. Even when he's talking about children being lifted by bayonets through the sternum. It's strange the guilt you feel for the stomach-turning actions of your erstwhile countrymen.
On a much lighter note, I bet you don't know what erstwhile means--except that you can probably gather it from context. Well, I didn't know until I read it several times in The Economist and got really agitated. I don't think I've seen anyone but them use it either. Oh well, I'm their faithful tool. I am more than happy to say erstwhile if it makes me feel closer to them.
Labels: atrocities, erstwhile, urine
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