Ladies and gentlemen, I am a crazy man!

7-9 page paper due at 5 PM. Currently starting page 4. Freaky-deeky? Youbetcharass! (That's pronounced "yu-BEH-CHAIR-ass" for those of you playing along at home.)

All right. So, an objective analysis of time would tell me I have 12 hours to finish this puppy. But a realistic analysis, which takes into account the fact that I have not yet slept (and don't intend to any time soon--teehee) would tell me that I have about four full-brain working hours (this calculation requires one to first find how much time he's actually working and then determine what percentage of the brain is actually available for the times that work is allotted, with 1 full-brain working hour [or brain-hour, for short] equalling the amount of work accomplished by the brain when it is at full efficiency over one hour--sort of like a kilowatt-hour, and how it's a measure of power as opposed to time or something).

I'll tell you what's nice though: for the past two hours or so, I've been all alone in this computer lab. Which is nice. It means I can pick my nose and fart, and all I have to worry about is the camera in the corner staring at me disapprovingly.

Unfortunately, my back has been bugging me all day. And I don't know why. But it sucks. I'm sort of stiff and I'm not sure exactly how long I'll survive considering that I've almost finished the apple I'm using to help keep my metabolism and my mind moving.

Thankfully, this is the first paper of the year in any of my classes (weird, yeah--I mean, last year I had like four papers by now), which means I have not yet exhausted my supply of emergency fuel. Unfortunately, I never fully replenished my emergency hoard during the summer like I usually do, nor am I sure exactly how full it is. At any moment in time, I can collapse and be broken in a fashion similar to what happened at the end of last year. Except this time it would be really bad because it's the first semester.

There is a glimmer of hope, however. It's possible that over the course of one year my body has adapted to survive on much less sleep. I say this because I effortlessly and accidently stop sleeping for no particular reason. And it sucks. And when I say stop sleeping, I should clarify and say that I stop sleeping enough. Without getting very severely hit by it. Can you believe that I haven't fallen asleep once in class yet? Not once! Seriously, dawg. That's creepy shit.

Anyway. I'd best go back to work. I have accomplished the needed distraction, and now I must take the writing momentum I've developed over this-a-way and apply it to my paper (though it's sort of impossible because I actually have to cite shit there).

A good day, folks. I promise that I'll talk about Iraq sometime. But to quote myself, Hasta la Byebye isn't back yet. Just give 'er some time.

On that note.

Hasta la byebye.