All right. So you know why I'm here. That's right. I have a paper to do.

But I have a very legitimate reason for not working on it just at this moment. You may or may not remember a blog earlier this school year where I complained about this female who was listening to Josh Groban so loudly that I could hear it through her headphones.

Well, apparently that is a sort of recurring theme here at This Fair George Washington University. An unattractive female recently walked into the computer lab that I only entered five or ten minutes ago. At first I heard a sort of funny noise. And then it went away. But then it came back. Oh dear God, it came back!

It was Train! Train! Fucking Train! What the fucking hell? WHY? She's sitting two bloody rows away from me, and I can hear what her iPod is blasting into her stupid little ears. I never hear anyone's music when they're listening and we're standing together in the elevator or something. What the hell? This female deserves a painful death.

Thankfully, however, she seems to be printing something out right now. For now I can't hear anymore Train (it was Meet Virginia, by the way--a song which others say is great, but I say is pure, undiluted bullshit that has infact been distilled three or four times).

Why do females like this exist? Why isn't she running? Can't she sense the hate vibes? Perhaps I'm not projecting them strongly enough--perhaps I should give her the evil eye until she looks up at me (at which point I would turn away and continue typing).

Gah! She hasn't left! Indeed, from my eavesdropping, I have determined that she is opening more applications now! Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck! Or as Ray would say, "Feck feck feck feck feck feck feck!" (There are usually nine, but the first two are done in a sort of independent way.)

But wait! She is printing again! Mayhap I shall be able to continue working whilst the coffee runs boldly through my blood! Damn that fucking whore! Damn her! Damn her and all females! Every last one! ALL FEMALES MUST DIE!

Oh well. That's all I've got.

Oh wait! Hallelujiah! She's gone! Gone, gone, gone! The evil blood-sucking, mind-destroying bitch from the planet Omega-Thetacron-Assmuncher 7 has left!

I shall now return to work. But first, a note to those who comment on my blog:

1) Carrying Cathy is superior.
2) I deserve my Pullitzer Prizes. Thank you.
3) Fuck you, Eric. I don't see you with anything.

Hasta la byebye, kids. Daddy has to write obscenely large amounts of stuff about John Stuart Mill and Karl Marx. W00t!