Okay... so I have to say that the entry below is just a tad over-the-top. ::Shifty eyes:: Yeah...
And I also have to say that I have lots o' shaz to be doing. So naturally I'm here. But I don't want to write anything substantial, so I shall do something terrible! Yes! I shall answer questionny-thingies that are usually found on LiveJournals! This one I have stolen from Danielle's. Just be glad I'm writing, you fuckasses.
ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
I'm not really either, because I'm both. Ponder that, bitches!
WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Becoming despicable.
AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
No, actually. Later on in my childhood, I made an attempt to start, but it didn't really work out. Sad, that.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
I hate it now, but I'd love it if they put me on some show where I get to win a bagillion dollars.
WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
Fuck yeah.
IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
If by "single" you mean Kraft Singles, then hell no.
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Off-white.
DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Occasionally. I do it all the time when I know I'm alone, but otherwise I keep it down lest the others hear my awesomeness.
HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
Heheheh. No.
ANY SECRET TALENTS?
I can detach my penis and wave it at oncoming traffic.
WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Some Turkish beach with lots of money, because then I could be all, "I'm not worried about money! Yay! Now I shall go parasailing! Thrice!"
IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
Eh... sort of? I don't watch him, really. I'm more of a Conan man (though I don't really watch him either).
CAN YOU SWIM?
To answer your question, consider this: are goats kickass?
HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOViE "DONNIE DARKO"?
Yes. Though I need to see it again for the full effect.
HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOSTIE POP?
Not sure. I've tried counting, but then I said "Well gee, Cantay. What's a standard lick? Does it count if you spin it in your mouth? And what exactly is the center?" Needless to say, I gave up.
CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
Of course I can. If I can spell "goatee" backwards, the alphabet would be a piece of cake.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
Why is this question even here? Who hasn't been on an airplane? And if you haven't been on an airplane, then what the hell are you doing here?
ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
No. Oldest of twenty.
DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENERS?
Manual. Much sexier.
WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
It's cool if you're hunting deer or something and you eat the deer, but it's not cool to hunt raccoons and not eat them. And it's just stupid to hunt goats. Yes, people do indeed hunt goats.
IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
Sure. For the right price. And/or woman.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Only when I'm Crazy Russian Man or something. Normally it's just blegh.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID "I LOVE YOU!"
Either before or after I finished kissing YOUR MOM.
IS TUPAC STILL ALIVE?
That's like asking if Michael Jackson didn't do it. Come on, people.
DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
I don't cry. I bah. ^.^
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Scrambled and with sucuk (Turkish beef sausage).
ARE BLONDES DUMB?
Who cares about that? It's time for some ack-shee-own!
WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
Mine actually come out all right because I pay off the gnomes. Other folks' have ended up with mine though. I think the gnomes are a little too appreciative of tin cans.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
9:16 PM. Bitch.
DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
I have several. Mostly just Turkman, Goatman, or Turkish Goatman.
IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
Yes. It should die. I used to prefer Burger King considerably before Burger King started to suck too. And now, unfortunately, my experiences with this Wendy's at J Street are not making me love them. Pretty much for a fast food burger I require Jack in the Box or something.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
Err... I think when Ashley's dad took us down to that Irish place. I think.
DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Baths. They make me feel all nice and squishy. And generally they relax me. Especially because I get to pretend I'm Captain Awesomeman of the Starship Djibouti or something.
IS SANTA CLAUSE REAL?
...No. Well, not anymore. I sort of... ::Draws his finger across his neck while making the death sound::
DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
Yes. It distracts the kisser while putting them in a vulnerable position, allowing me to slide my knife into their kidney with ridiculous ease. ^.^
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Not generally, no.
WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Spuds. Like the Weird Al song. Though I'm trying to fight it--I just got two jars of Nutella for $1 total. Which is sweet. And it might bring me back to sanity.
CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
Yep. And I do it regularly. Much to the chagrin of all innocent bystanders.
HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
No. But oddly enough, one is passing by Lafayette as I answer this question. Strange, because usually all we get is firetrucks.
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
Twice if you count the wee hours of the morning. Once if you don't.
IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Pfft. No. The way to be is like me, bitches! Don't follow false prophets like non-addiction!
ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
I often am, yes.
WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Sexy Green. (It's a new color Crayola developed specifically to describe my eyes.)
HOW LOUD DO YOU SNEEZE?
As loud as possible, because I really am an attention whore.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
Sure. Except for the occasional large bump, it's pretty nice.
WHO'S BETTER: STONE COLD OR THE ROCK?
OMG I LUV STONE COLD. (Me.)
ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
Uh... no. And anyone that answers yes needs to lay off the 'shrooms. And don't give me none of that "but I am psychic" jazz. If you were psychic, you'd have been able to avoid the knife spinning towards the back of your head.
HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
No. Will one day, hopes I.
DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
I am physically capable of plucking strings and pounding keys, but that's pretty much it.
CAN YOU SKATE?
Don't think so.
HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
Once, I think. From my parents. They owed me and I was like, "I need my money!" So I stole some. I can't remember what happened afterwards, but I can definitely tell you that the mere thought of stealing money now makes me soil myself uncontrollably like I just did seven times while typing this. Can anyone say A Clockwork Orange?
CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
Nope.
DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
Sure. With the right people and in the right spot, I'm sure it would be great. Haven't done it in quite a while, though.
DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
No. But my sisters do! Suckers!
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
Not really. Nothing that we humans can conjure, anyway.
ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
No. Goats, you motherfuckers. Goats.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
No. I believe in enforcing the line "till death do us part."
CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
Sort of. Not particularly well, though.
DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
No.
IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
Yes. It was very picturesque, but quite cool despite being late April. Ah well, so it goes.
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Old chicken green curry from the Thai Place
WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
That one from Autozone with that jingle of death. You know, the one that goes, "Parts! Parts! Give me parts parts! At Autozone I can find the right fucking parts!"
DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
Do I look like a gay surfer? No. Or was that Hollister?
(And that's all. Hasta la byebye, kids. Don't eat the yellow snow.)
And I also have to say that I have lots o' shaz to be doing. So naturally I'm here. But I don't want to write anything substantial, so I shall do something terrible! Yes! I shall answer questionny-thingies that are usually found on LiveJournals! This one I have stolen from Danielle's. Just be glad I'm writing, you fuckasses.
ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
I'm not really either, because I'm both. Ponder that, bitches!
WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Becoming despicable.
AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
No, actually. Later on in my childhood, I made an attempt to start, but it didn't really work out. Sad, that.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
I hate it now, but I'd love it if they put me on some show where I get to win a bagillion dollars.
WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
Fuck yeah.
IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
If by "single" you mean Kraft Singles, then hell no.
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Off-white.
DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Occasionally. I do it all the time when I know I'm alone, but otherwise I keep it down lest the others hear my awesomeness.
HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
Heheheh. No.
ANY SECRET TALENTS?
I can detach my penis and wave it at oncoming traffic.
WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Some Turkish beach with lots of money, because then I could be all, "I'm not worried about money! Yay! Now I shall go parasailing! Thrice!"
IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
Eh... sort of? I don't watch him, really. I'm more of a Conan man (though I don't really watch him either).
CAN YOU SWIM?
To answer your question, consider this: are goats kickass?
HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOViE "DONNIE DARKO"?
Yes. Though I need to see it again for the full effect.
HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOSTIE POP?
Not sure. I've tried counting, but then I said "Well gee, Cantay. What's a standard lick? Does it count if you spin it in your mouth? And what exactly is the center?" Needless to say, I gave up.
CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
Of course I can. If I can spell "goatee" backwards, the alphabet would be a piece of cake.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
Why is this question even here? Who hasn't been on an airplane? And if you haven't been on an airplane, then what the hell are you doing here?
ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
No. Oldest of twenty.
DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENERS?
Manual. Much sexier.
WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
It's cool if you're hunting deer or something and you eat the deer, but it's not cool to hunt raccoons and not eat them. And it's just stupid to hunt goats. Yes, people do indeed hunt goats.
IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
Sure. For the right price. And/or woman.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Only when I'm Crazy Russian Man or something. Normally it's just blegh.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID "I LOVE YOU!"
Either before or after I finished kissing YOUR MOM.
IS TUPAC STILL ALIVE?
That's like asking if Michael Jackson didn't do it. Come on, people.
DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
I don't cry. I bah. ^.^
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Scrambled and with sucuk (Turkish beef sausage).
ARE BLONDES DUMB?
Who cares about that? It's time for some ack-shee-own!
WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
Mine actually come out all right because I pay off the gnomes. Other folks' have ended up with mine though. I think the gnomes are a little too appreciative of tin cans.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
9:16 PM. Bitch.
DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
I have several. Mostly just Turkman, Goatman, or Turkish Goatman.
IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
Yes. It should die. I used to prefer Burger King considerably before Burger King started to suck too. And now, unfortunately, my experiences with this Wendy's at J Street are not making me love them. Pretty much for a fast food burger I require Jack in the Box or something.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
Err... I think when Ashley's dad took us down to that Irish place. I think.
DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Baths. They make me feel all nice and squishy. And generally they relax me. Especially because I get to pretend I'm Captain Awesomeman of the Starship Djibouti or something.
IS SANTA CLAUSE REAL?
...No. Well, not anymore. I sort of... ::Draws his finger across his neck while making the death sound::
DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
Yes. It distracts the kisser while putting them in a vulnerable position, allowing me to slide my knife into their kidney with ridiculous ease. ^.^
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Not generally, no.
WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Spuds. Like the Weird Al song. Though I'm trying to fight it--I just got two jars of Nutella for $1 total. Which is sweet. And it might bring me back to sanity.
CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
Yep. And I do it regularly. Much to the chagrin of all innocent bystanders.
HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
No. But oddly enough, one is passing by Lafayette as I answer this question. Strange, because usually all we get is firetrucks.
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
Twice if you count the wee hours of the morning. Once if you don't.
IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Pfft. No. The way to be is like me, bitches! Don't follow false prophets like non-addiction!
ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
I often am, yes.
WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Sexy Green. (It's a new color Crayola developed specifically to describe my eyes.)
HOW LOUD DO YOU SNEEZE?
As loud as possible, because I really am an attention whore.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
Sure. Except for the occasional large bump, it's pretty nice.
WHO'S BETTER: STONE COLD OR THE ROCK?
OMG I LUV STONE COLD. (Me.)
ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
Uh... no. And anyone that answers yes needs to lay off the 'shrooms. And don't give me none of that "but I am psychic" jazz. If you were psychic, you'd have been able to avoid the knife spinning towards the back of your head.
HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
No. Will one day, hopes I.
DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
I am physically capable of plucking strings and pounding keys, but that's pretty much it.
CAN YOU SKATE?
Don't think so.
HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
Once, I think. From my parents. They owed me and I was like, "I need my money!" So I stole some. I can't remember what happened afterwards, but I can definitely tell you that the mere thought of stealing money now makes me soil myself uncontrollably like I just did seven times while typing this. Can anyone say A Clockwork Orange?
CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
Nope.
DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
Sure. With the right people and in the right spot, I'm sure it would be great. Haven't done it in quite a while, though.
DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
No. But my sisters do! Suckers!
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
Not really. Nothing that we humans can conjure, anyway.
ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
No. Goats, you motherfuckers. Goats.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
No. I believe in enforcing the line "till death do us part."
CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
Sort of. Not particularly well, though.
DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
No.
IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
Yes. It was very picturesque, but quite cool despite being late April. Ah well, so it goes.
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Old chicken green curry from the Thai Place
WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
That one from Autozone with that jingle of death. You know, the one that goes, "Parts! Parts! Give me parts parts! At Autozone I can find the right fucking parts!"
DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
Do I look like a gay surfer? No. Or was that Hollister?
(And that's all. Hasta la byebye, kids. Don't eat the yellow snow.)
2 Comments:
At 26 April, 2005 00:45,
Anonymous said…
man cantay i still can't believe you don't like "losing lisa." but i must say i'm impressed by your detachable penis skillzz.
At 30 April, 2005 20:56,
Eric said…
they're really dishing those out to just about anybody these days, huh.
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