Welcome to another edition of I-Really-Ought-to-be-Working-but-I-Don't-Want-To Hasta la Byebye! Before we continue with the broadcast, we'd like to shamelessly plug our upcoming Hasta la Byebye: Back in Katyland series:

Remember all those good times you had following Cantay around while he was in his little suburbian world? Well for a limited time, you're going to get more of it! And you'll like it too! We say so! Watch as Cantay balances on a small wooden plank as he tries to cross from one hot-air balloon to another to save his family; watch as Cantay tries to land a job at the prestigious storage depot near his house; watch as Cantay eats an inordinate number of insects to win $4.95 US! It'll be hot, humid, and downright sticky. And you know what we mean!

All right! Welcome back to the program. Cantay currently has a paper due at 2 PM, which gives him thirteen hours and nine minutes from the end of this sentence. Will he make it? We sure as hell don't know, but he hasn't even started* yet!

So yeah! It'll be great! Watch him suffer and procrastinate and worry about his grade in Comparative Politics while also bending himself into multiple knots trying to track down and DESTROY his tormentor!

Now for some words from our sponsors:

Have you ever felt a little less than fresh down there? Have you ever wondered what other people must think of that sopping, wet, stinking mess--or even two messes? Buy Odor B Gone foot powder today! It has forty-four patented odor-killing ingredients, at least seven of which are approved by the FDA! (Do not use Odor B Gone if you have ulcers, heart problems, back problems, problems with your gall bladder function, if you are prone to radiation sickness, if you become dizzy when exposed to cyanide, if you ever hope to suffer from oily discharge at any time in your life, or if you have a thing for licking your own feet)

"Wow! My back feels so much better, mom! What did you do?"
Jimmy's mom put him in a Body Castor body cast; but ssshhh! Don't ruin the surprise!
"I feel less and less like my spleen is going to rupture now!"
Jimmy has been suffering from seven degenerative discs in his back, and now he can finally get the relief he deserves--no one even knew there was a problem until Jimmy's mom tried the Body Castor.
"I love you, mom!"
Buy one for your pained loved ones today! It makes a great gift!

And we're back! And I hate my job! And Cantay has a paper to write!

Hasta la byebye you pretentious weeds!

*"Started" is based on the lack of actual paperage created by Cantay and does not reflect the time he has spent researching.