Just realized. I named Danielle. Heheheheheheh.
Well, she may be female K, she may not be female K; she may be my girlfriend, she may not be my girlfriend; she may be a closet shemale, she may not be a closet shemale. Whatever the case, I named someone from GW that isn't Fred. Scary, yes?
Well hell, I think so.
And yes, I should be working on my paper, but Fred just turned off his music, and I was too stubborn to go to the library and read my articles there. Needless to say, I've gotten damn near nothing done since about three hours ago. Go me!
Oh, and for those who I haven't told that read this blog (all one of you), I return home on the 18th. Go me!
Man. You know what I need to do? No, I mean aside from work. I need to write more. All of my shitty little pieces of shit that I started writing have been collecting obscene amounts of dust--we're talking enough dust to kill an elephant, here. Millions of industrial-sized tubs filled with dust of all kinds, but especially the kind that's still alive, since that's the grossest one.
Oh, and I say cheers to whoever it is that's fucking with my head with the comments. Cause it's working, motherfucker. And now, to either get rid of you or to make my friends back home eager to find you, I will kill one person for every day that your identity remains secret after the 19th of December in the 2,004th year of our Lord. I could start immediately, but then I might accidently kill my girlfriend, and I don't want to risk that. I'd much rather kill my parents or something, cause eighteen years of love has nothing on four hours of hot sex.
And by "hot," I mean disgusting, and by "sex," I mean panda porn. Don't ever order mystery packages from "mystery stores."
What does panda porn have to do with my girlfriend, you ask? It's made me realize the need for someone special to cuddle that isn't a panda.
Why did I watch all four hours of panda porn if I found it so disgusting? Because you never know if the plot will pick up--I mean, seriously, right up until the end, I was half-expecting that Australian crocodile guy to jump out of the foliage and start talking. Really. I was.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go masturbate to my memories of Xinxin while replaying the ska version of Come on Eileen. Hasta la byebye!
Well, she may be female K, she may not be female K; she may be my girlfriend, she may not be my girlfriend; she may be a closet shemale, she may not be a closet shemale. Whatever the case, I named someone from GW that isn't Fred. Scary, yes?
Well hell, I think so.
And yes, I should be working on my paper, but Fred just turned off his music, and I was too stubborn to go to the library and read my articles there. Needless to say, I've gotten damn near nothing done since about three hours ago. Go me!
Oh, and for those who I haven't told that read this blog (all one of you), I return home on the 18th. Go me!
Man. You know what I need to do? No, I mean aside from work. I need to write more. All of my shitty little pieces of shit that I started writing have been collecting obscene amounts of dust--we're talking enough dust to kill an elephant, here. Millions of industrial-sized tubs filled with dust of all kinds, but especially the kind that's still alive, since that's the grossest one.
Oh, and I say cheers to whoever it is that's fucking with my head with the comments. Cause it's working, motherfucker. And now, to either get rid of you or to make my friends back home eager to find you, I will kill one person for every day that your identity remains secret after the 19th of December in the 2,004th year of our Lord. I could start immediately, but then I might accidently kill my girlfriend, and I don't want to risk that. I'd much rather kill my parents or something, cause eighteen years of love has nothing on four hours of hot sex.
And by "hot," I mean disgusting, and by "sex," I mean panda porn. Don't ever order mystery packages from "mystery stores."
What does panda porn have to do with my girlfriend, you ask? It's made me realize the need for someone special to cuddle that isn't a panda.
Why did I watch all four hours of panda porn if I found it so disgusting? Because you never know if the plot will pick up--I mean, seriously, right up until the end, I was half-expecting that Australian crocodile guy to jump out of the foliage and start talking. Really. I was.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go masturbate to my memories of Xinxin while replaying the ska version of Come on Eileen. Hasta la byebye!
9 Comments:
At 14 December, 2004 11:27,
Anonymous said…
Cantay, you can be so twisted... I'm not liking these references to porn and sex ALL THE TIME. Especially in relation to ME. You whore. Now I'm mad. If you were worried about your psycho stalker being one of my friends, you just did a hell of a job to make them even more angry. *sigh* Genius...
At 14 December, 2004 14:14,
Das Goat said…
Yes, I know! ::Maniacal laughter::
Nah, but I'll cut down... eventually. It's just like those times when I said "like a fox" all the time. Sure, they haven't actually ended yet, but they did once. Obviously they came back, but the point is that it all ends after a while. ^.^
Somehow I feel that that's not very comforting, but that doesn't mean I'm not making the happy face again! ^.^!
Ha!
At 14 December, 2004 20:22,
Anonymous said…
i kinda wanted to post anonymously, obviously, just to piss you off. its fun.
oh, and im not the anonymous-poster. im one of danielles friends. and im not mad at you, although i think you are slightly psycho. but its all good. okay, im done now.
At 14 December, 2004 22:12,
Anonymous said…
I'm not one of Danielle’s friends. I'd say that I don't want to kill you or anything.. but it sort of looses its mystery, and charm, doesn't it (besides, can you believe me? :) )? For what is the leader of the world, without at least one or two assassins lurking in the shadows..
Or just stalkers, whatever.
Bear whores! (not bare, bear)
At 15 December, 2004 18:52,
Anonymous said…
Watch yourself kid.
At 15 December, 2004 19:59,
Anonymous said…
"Oh, and I say cheers to whoever it is that's fucking with my head with the comments. Cause it's working, motherfucker."
Thank you...never call me that again.
"And now, to either get rid of you or to make my friends back home eager to find you, I will kill one person for every day that your identity remains secret after the 19th of December in the 2,004th year of our Lord."
And for ever person you kill, I will have one more reason to kill you. And are you actually a Christian, are you mocking Christians, or are you just being generally random with that last part?
"I could start immediately, but then I might accidently kill my girlfriend, and I don't want to risk that."
No...you really dont want to risk that.
"I'd much rather kill my parents or something, cause eighteen years of love has nothing on four hours of hot sex."
You lost me there....But if that sex comment was in any way directed towards a certain girlfriend of yours.....re-think it.
At 15 December, 2004 21:53,
Anonymous said…
"loose" is actually spelled "lose." sorry, you lose.
At 15 December, 2004 22:15,
Das Goat said…
Ummm... well.
Two quick things: 1) You shouldn't take -everything- I say seriously. 2) Only I am allowed to point out others' spelling mistakes in the comments. I or Turnip.
That is all.
At 15 December, 2004 22:56,
Anonymous said…
One quick thing: 1) You shouldn't take anything he says seriously.
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