Hello everyone. I'm blogging from the hospital. I managed somehow to fall down the lovely stairs that we have here, from about the middle of the fifth floor to the bottom of the fourth.

I broke my right collarbone, my left fibula (in something like seven places), and I managed to twist in such a way that my spleen dislocated itself and began to bleed internally.

Other than the residual after-effects of having that stuff starting to mend, though, I'm fine. Just sort of... broken. Did I mention that I won $15 in poker? That's right, bitches. I'm in the black.

Except for the hospital bill.

It's pretty cool, though. I'm not having to attend classes. Well. Actually, that's pretty uncool since that's what I'm here for. I was able to talk to the dean of freshmen, and he told me that because the incident happened early in the semester, I could withdraw from all classes without penalty. I think I'll probably end up doing that since it'll be at least a week or two before I'll be able to properly move myself in the general direction of a class.

Hospital food's all right though. And it's cheaper than what they have on J Street.

And you know what else kicks ass? I had an article written about me in the school newspaper. It hasn't been published yet, but I got interviewed and it was all sorts of great fun. I believe the article is going to tackle the issue of those damn dangerous vertigo stairs.

Anyways, I'd better run now. My leg's starting to act up and I need some good old fashioned analgesic intravenous fluid.

Oh, and one more thing. This is a hoax. Had you goin', didn't I, bitches?

Hasta la byebye.